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Monday, April 22, 2013
Everyday Heroines: Kim & Tori by Laura DeLuca
12:00 AM
| Posted by
Tara
Many years ago, a girl named Kim moved in around the
corner. I knew she was special from the first time I saw her. She caught me
singing at the top of my lungs on my front porch and she didn’t make fun of me.
It turned out she was transferring to my school and was even in the same class.
We wound up carpooling for several years and were pretty close friends in grade
school. There are a few things that will forever remind me of Kim—punch buggies
(our arms were always black and blue from hitting each other on the way to
school), the musical, South Pacific
(she had the lead and I was in the orchestra), and the fact that she was one of
my only grade school friends who never acted uncomfortable around my aunt who
had Down Syndrome.
Fast forward more than twenty years, and Kim and I are
still living in the same little county in New Jersey. When the authors from
HerStory decided they wanted to honor everyday heroines, Kim and her beautiful
daughter, Tori, were the very first people who came to mind. In HerStory, I talked
about my grandmother and how her love for her daughter helped her overcome all
the odds. Kim and Tori have a comparable story with a similar happy ending.
Eighteen years ago, when she was scarcely twenty
years old, Kim became pregnant with her oldest daughter. During her pregnancy, she
was misdiagnosed with Lyme disease and treated with a drug she later learned
wasn’t safe for pregnant woman. Several
months into her pregnancy, her baby started to develop problems. Two months
before her due date, she was told the baby had died in utero. Where other
people would have fallen into despair, Kim never gave up hope. She prayed every
day for a miracle, and her prayers were answered. When Tori came into this world
breathing, Kim was so grateful, it didn’t matter that Tori was handicapped. She
was a gift from God, an angel.
Tori was eventually diagnosed with microcephaly, a
disease where a person’s head is significantly smaller than average. She is
missing two thirds of her brain and parts of her brain are deteriorating. Tori
is unable to speak, to stand, or even to sit up without assistance. Kim was
told her daughter would never live to see her first birthday, but like my
grandmother Tessie, she has proven that a mother’s love outweighs any
prognosis. Although doctors claim Tori
was the mental capacity of a three month old, Kim knows there is more hiding
behind those beautiful brown eyes. Although she isn’t able to speak, Tori
expresses herself through laugher and gestures her family understands. One of the things everyone knows about Tori
is that she’s a redneck girl at heart and loves her country music. She also enjoyed
getting trussed up for her prom just as much as any teenage girl.
Not long after Tori was born, her biological father
cut ties. Kim raised her alone for a few years until she met her current
husband, Chris. Between the two of them, they have become a modern day Brady
Bunch with five children ranging in age from two to eighteen. Chris legally
adopted Tori and has helped make it possible for Kim to stay home with the
children. This is important for Tori because her immune system is easily
compromised. What would be the sniffles for the average child could become a
two week hospital stay for Tori.
I chose Kim as my everyday heroine because, like my
grandmother, Kim doesn’t see having a handicapped child as a trial. She doesn’t
want people to pity her. Kim’s own words say it best, “Walking and talking are
overrated. Having a perfect baby is overrated. Having a handicapped child isn’t
a bad thing. We’re blessed. Tori is a gift and I wish more people would
understand that. She smiles at me every time I walk into the room. She always
appreciates me, and she makes even the most miserable person smile when they
see her.”
***
Laura “Luna” DeLuca lives at the beautiful Jersey shore with her husband and four children. She is the author of six young adult novels and several short stories.
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Thanks for sharing the gift of this wonderful woman and her daughter. I have worked with individuals that are affected by a similar condition as Tori. I too find these young women and men to be the purest souls to date:O)
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